Alissa Dimick: I’ve tried coffee a few times, and I seriously hate it. The smell is even worse than the taste. I don’t understand you freaks who drink it.

Scott Renshaw: I chronicled in this very publication my noncoffee personality, partly attributable to being a morning person and partly attributable to being a “thinks it tastes like the bitter tears of the ravaged rain forests” person.

DJ Moody: My name is DJ Moody, and I am addicted to coffee. My drug of choice is a large soy pumpkin-spice latte. When pumpkin spice is out, I get my fix with the vanilla. Mmm. And now I’m heading over to Coffee Garden to get my fix.

Pete Saltas: I’ve asked the baristas at Coffee Garden to install a dumbwaiter, where they give CW coffee, and we give them whiskey. I think that qualifies for two addictions, actually.

Lauren Sisneros: I am addicted to the coffee-drinker lifestyle. I love the smell of coffee, coffee shops, the people who work at my coffee shop and so much more. I usually have two to three cups per day, medium roast with a splash of cream, and I occasionally treat myself with something fancy.

Jerre Wroble: I savor my daily cup of French roast, even though the caffeine is burning out my endocrine system. Our employers should give it to us free; they are the beneficiaries of a caffeine-addled workforce.

Paula Saltas: Iced coffee au lait with sugar-free vanilla, every morning. Yes, iced. I don’t care if it is 5 degrees. Do I ask if you want your Diet Coke hot?