7. Host of Fox News’ new primetime series The Chaff Factor..
6. Apple Store salesman: “You can’t afford health care, but the iPhone 8 is priced to move!”
5. Freelance paid protestor on Craigslist.
4. Fantastic Sam’s spokesmodel: “A perm this great is no … oversight!”
3. Chair of anti-climate change watchdog group, WeatherDaddy.
2. Author of City Weekly’s Ocho-replacement column, “J.C.’s Ethics Korner.”
1. Trojan condoms pitchman: “Better than pulling out early—I should know!”
