8. FUBAR Juice (Slogan: “FUBAR puts the FU in fun!”)

7. Colgate Vodka Koolers (Slogan: “No cavities, no memory, no problem!”)

6. Choco-Blotto (Slogan: “The chocolate drink that makes playtime go fast!”)

5. Jim Beam’s Lil’ Jimmies (Slogan: “Warm your belly like the hobos do!”)

4. Mommy’s Daily Vitamin C (Slogan: “The ‘C’ stands for chardonnay!”)

3. Captain Morgan Crunch (Slogan: “The breakfast drink with kick!”)

2. Irish Car-Seat Bomb (Slogan: “Now in sippy-cups!”)

1. Pabst Blue Ritalin (Slogan: “Are you even listening to me? Drink this!”)