Eight top holiday-weekend destination spots for Labor Day 2010:

8. Facedown and handcuffed at a Highway Patrol sobriety checkpoint.

7. The Tooele Monsters of Smooth Jazz three-day music festival.

6. The frozen-food aisle at Costco.

5. The frozen-food aisle at Whole Foods (for the more discerning NPR loiterer).

4. Uncle Nutty’s Budget Amusement Park & Pet Crematorium.

3. One of those sexy, swinger-filled hot springs from the last City Weekly.

2. Franzia Vineyards, in the heart of California box-wine country.

1. Prof. Frost’s Inane Lists for Fun & Profit skill-building retreat (slots still open!).

Bill Frost: