Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

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Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays

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nAsk homophobes why gays and lesbians should not have equal rights, and they are likely to give you any number of reasons, including:
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Gays are a threat to traditional marriage.

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Gays already have equal rights, and are only seeking special treatment.

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Gays represent society’s moral decline.

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Same-sex marriages don’t produce children. (Shh! Don’t tell them about adoption or in vitro.)

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Indeed, a homophobe will tell you just about anything but the truth, which is:

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I just don’t like gay people.

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A hatred of gays is the organizing principle upon which my value system is based.

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There’s no such thing as homophobia, you gay-loving pervert.

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Kudos, then, to Valerie Mills of Bountiful who, during an interim session of the Legislature last week, proposed a new addition to the shopworn litany for those who suffer from the phobia that dare not speak its name.

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Anxiety over the marriage-rights issue causes obesity in children.

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There you have it! Gay marriages may not make children—but, apparently, they make children fat.

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