For their first alcoholic drink ever, what would you serve Sens. Waddoups and Valentine?

Austen Diamond: A flaming Dr Pepper—and I wouldn’t tell them it is the most vile drink on Earth. Why anyone would chug a Dr Pepper, let alone an alcoholic tastealike, befuddles me as much as those two senators’ beliefs do.

Rachel Scott: I would serve them the I-Got-So-Hammered-That-I-Realized-the-Error-of-My-Ways-and-Became-a-Progressive-Liberal martini.

Bryan Bale: They can’t even make good decisions when they’re sober. Why would we trust them with alcohol? Unless we could arrest them for legislating while intoxicated ...

Becca Andrus: First of all, I do not believe this would be their first drink ever. I will play along, though and serve them both a tall Belvedere tonic (a double, of course).

Kolbie Stonehocker: A High West whiskey sour.

Rachel Piper: I imagine they’re already breaking the word of wisdom and battling Diet Coke addictions, so a nice rum & coke would easily get them hooked on booze.

Scott Renshaw: As someone who recently dove into a beverage that’s not necessarily easy to embrace at first, I don’t think the “dipping your toe” approach works. All in or all out: Just a straight shot of Jack Daniels.

Dan Nailen: Keystone Light. Why waste something good?

Paula Saltas: Screaming Orgasm. Use cheap vodka so the Baileys will curdle.

Erik Daenitz: I would mix them up a Grand Hoochie Skank Rosé.