Eight reasons to skip the company Christmas party this year:

8. Your manager’s all-percussion Rush tribute band, Tom-Tom Sawyer, is playing again.

7. The only entrée choices are “Chulupa” or “Chulupa Supreme.”

6. The person you’re sleeping with on the first floor is bound to run into the person you’re sleeping with on the second floor …

5. … not to mention that guy from the warehouse.

4. The coworker you drew in the Secret Santa pool has been dropping hints about “a good bone saw.”

3. You would rather have gotten a bonus than a 10-foot-tall party display ice sculpture of Thomas S. Monson.

2. You’re not comfortable with the boss’s “rubber-only” dress requirements.

1. Your “party drunk” may be more off-putting to coworkers than your “daytime drunk.”

Bill Frost