nEight recent cutbacks at [your office here] necessitated by the “downward economy”:

8. Office Christmas party postponed until May 2009.
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n7. “Casual Friday” replaced with “Fight for Your Accounts Cage-Match Monday.”
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n6. Overtime wages now paid out in positive reinforcement and hugs.
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n5. Web development department downsized to “guy who won’t give up the password.”
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n4. Reception-area music replaced with boss’ “Smooth Lovin’” mix CD.
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n3. New insurance provider: Totally Awesome Healthcare.
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n2. Company work-hours alcohol policy modified from “prohibited” to “BYOB.”
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n1. This Ocho will now cost you $1.50 to post on the break-room refrigerator. (PayPal accepted)