Unlawful Wobbling | Buzz Blog
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Unlawful Wobbling

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[image-1] Now that Sen. Valentine has solved the problem of public restaurants promoting the next generation of alcoholics by keeping any booze-related activity away from the eyes of children, now he is redefining what being intoxicated means.

Still feeling the sting of the Utah Supreme Court ruling that it isn't against the law to exhibit traditional signs of being tipsy as long as you pose no threat to yourself or anyone else—being a little wobbly, boisterous or talking like Barbara Walters was ruled legal, Valentine's bill would make cheering boisterously for the Jazz a crime as displaying outward signs of intoxication, regardless if you drink or not. Under Valentine's bill, I would be immediately arrested the minute I walked into any restaurant or club because I had a minor stroke a year ago and my balance is a tiny bit off and my left leg at times is a little slow. In fact, anybody who may not be in Olympian physical condition and a mute might be cited under Valentine's redefinition of intoxicated. I need a drink!