Watchmen. Watchmen! WATCHMEN! OMG! OMG!!!!! WAAAAAAAATCHMEEEEEEEENN!!!!!!

Yes, apparently some movie called Watchmen is opening today. Hose yourselves down, fanboys and fangirls. It ain't all that.

Your real best best today is the Academy Awards Foreign Language nominee The Class. Laurent Cantet's adaptation of a Paris schoolteacher's memoir is nowhere near the "inspirational teacher movie" cliches -- and a bracing challenge to the idea of whether public education can even work any more. And you know what else? Nobody in this movie is painted blue with his johnson hanging out.