Finally, after over a half a century of waiting, Barbie has finally been made relevant to today's youth. She can now get the pony or butterfly tramp stamp she's always wanted. That's right Mattel has finally launched it's Totally Stylin' Tattoo Barbie--complete with toy tattoo gun and over 40 tattoos you can place anywhere you want on Barbie's plastic physique--the perfect surface for faux ink.

That's right. Tattoos. On kid's dolls. Coming to a Walmart near you.

Prediction: massive eruption of volcanic moral indignation to sweep across Utah before Easter. Concerned Maude Flanders' of Utah County should commence gettin' their scowl on starting...now!