My boy Alan. And when I say “my boy” I mean “my friend.” Although I have plenty of friends whom I don’t refer to as “my boy.” You see, it’s a modern day colloquialism that changes meanings depending on who you are talking about. It also has what we sports geeks like to call a “reversal” with the less friendly version… “your boy.”  When “my boy” does something it’s usually good. When “your boy” does something, it’s usually fodder for mocking. My friend Terrence whom some people just call “T” refers to his son sometimes as “the boy,” but he is clearly making the distinction between his daughter and his son.

Have I beaten this “boy” thing into the ground yet?

Focus man, focus.

Ok here we go… My boy Alan loves the rat. Now what the hell does that mean??? That means that Duke coach Mike Kry-us-a-shevv-ski is often referred to as “the rat.” I didn’t make it up, but it is a fact that his face has a certain rodent like feature to it. Real name is Krzyzewski, but calls himself “Coach K.” Coincidentally he coaches one of the big hatees in all of sports, the Duke Blue Devils men’s basketball team. Seriously, if you aren’t wearing a Duke T shirt, odds are you hate them with every fiber of your being. I know I do. Christian Laettner and that God damned shot that beat Kentucky in 1992…  (I am still pissed) You watch, sometime tomorrow during an NCAA basketball game,  some jackass will say “blah blah 17 tears ago today Laettner hit the shot blah blah March 28th blah blah”

Man, I can’t get to my stupid point.

Ok here goes.

We got “my boy” Alan and we got “the rat” Coach K. Yesterday as I was lounging around the casa Alan called to talk NCAA Tournament smack. He runs one of my many brackets. Gambling, talking trash and watching your bracket like an expectant mother are all part of why March Madness is the greatest sports event in America. So anyway, Alan still buys into Duke. So much so, that he bet me that Duke would not only win last night, but would win the National Championship. Now, I had to give him 2-1 odds, but still I said “national championship? They won’t beat Villanova!”

Villanova 77, Duke 54.

Alan no longer loves the rat. Today, he hates the rat. Now you know how the rest of us feel the other 364 days of the year.

It’s not 1992, Duke is not the powerhouse they used to be, they are just the team everybody loves to hate… and I will hate them forever… much like the Dodgers…

… but that’s another story.