Unsexy 2009 | Buzz Blog
DONATE
Support the Free Press.
Facts matter. Truth matters. Journalism matters.
Salt Lake City Weekly has been Utah's source of independent news and in-depth journalism since 1984.
Donate today to ensure the legacy continues.

Unsexy 2009

by

comment

The Boston Phoenix has unveiled the 2009 edition of its inexplicably popular 100 Unsexiest Men list. Wait, it's popularized by blogs, so I'm part of the problem.

But I didn't make the list again this year--it's always a nail-biter around here. Besides, these guys would definitely be ahead of me:

portraitofpetercorroon_000.jpg
101. Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon: He's tall, yet still somehow egg-shaped--impressive even for an alien being. Sure, power is sexy ... but only to a point.

chunga.jpg

102. The End 101.9's Jimmy Chunga: He's still on The End, right? I wasn't motivated to change my radio preset from 107. Anyway, Chunga's as "sexy" as a promo Paul Blart: Mall Cop T-shirt soaked in rat urine (hey, it happens at radio stations).

shurtleff.jpg

103. Attorney General Mark Shurtleff: If Bob's Big Boy and a mutated pug had a child, Mark Shurtleff would be there to scare the shit out of it. This is a face that says, "The bodies are in a shallow grave off the Interstate ... don't ask how I know."

act_kyle_korver.jpg
104. The Utah Jazz's Kyle Korver: Rocking a tousled Flobee vacuum-attachment haircut, Kyle Korver always has that look of wonderment, or like the Jazz Bear just touched him in a "No!" place. Some say he looks like Ashton Kutcher, but those people wear helmets to Bingo night and listen to The End.

bh.jpg
105. Big Love's Bill Henrickson: Seriously, how does this irregular-bin spud score so much Mormon (or Mormon-ish) tail? Is owning your own home-improvement store and Indian casino that hot? Or is it his throbbing, turgid, Viagra-enhanced ... testimony? Yeah, let's go with that.

Tags