On Sunday we had the in-laws over for dinner and I made no bones about the fact that I needed to sit on the side of the table where I could see the TV. The Yankees were playing the Red Sox, I never get to watch baseball and... well, I paid for the god damn TV.
So dinner comes and goes, the in-laws leave and my wife, who we’ll call “Angie” tells me to take the kids up to give them a bath. Let’s call them “Opey” and “Alex.” Now, I don't mind this so much because I have a nice TV in the bedroom (which I also paid for) and I can put the kids in our tub. They will entertain themselves and I can watch another 2-3 innings of the game.
15 minutes later, my wife who we’ll call “Angie” comes up and asks me if I would go down and get the kids' drinks for bed. No problem, it is a commercial so off I go. When I come back she has changed the channel to some HGTV home improvement show, which of course are ALL THE SAME!!! When I ask her if I can switch the channel back she says, and I quote "Baseball is boring. Hours go by and nothing happens. You watch hours and hours of sports..."
Just as I am standing there aghast, wondering how I ever fell in love with this woman, let alone married her in the first place, a commercial comes on the home improvement channel so I quickly switch it back to baseball just as Ellersby steals home. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, Opey is screaming, Alex is screaming and all “Angie” can do is say, and I quote "Hmmm, I guess every once in a while even a blind squirrel finds his nuts."
At which point she sends me downstairs with my adult beverage to watch the rest of the game by myself because she is tired.