I am not taking any chances with the swine flu epidemic/pandemic/enormodemic/glactialticaldemic.
Why, just this morning, I wore a surgical mask when eating bacon. The lack of news for the cable news networks, (I use the term loosely), has given them something to talk about besides Michelle Obama's arms. Fox News channel is doing it's best to pin the blame of this intergalactic menace on the Obama Administration. Jason Chaffetz or whatever you call him, wants to leg wrestle every person who flies into the U.S. to see if they're well enough to enter.
The morons who run the Park City schools found a convenient way to save money. Some kid had a snotty nose so they closed down the entire school system until there is a proven cure for this.
We could follow the lead of Egypt and kill every pig in the entire country. Of course, that could serve as a twofer ... it would get rid of all the lobbyists in D.C. Some things just work out.