The cassowary could be the meanest mofo in the bird kingdom. About as big as an ostrich with razor-sharp talons, it can and will attack humans.
... And there could be one on the loose in Utah County! If so, stay the hell away from it; it's injured and considered highly disgruntled.
The cassowary's plumage is really quite striking--like Carol Channing after her third costume change. And, like a Carol Channing costume change, it costs a couple hundred grand.
Here's a picture of a cassowary attacking a guy using specialized anti-cassowary protective equipment.
Kids, don't try this at home: