If you tune into TNT’s coverage of NASCAR racing (yes, I confess to watching NASCAR racing), you’ll see the show open with Buckcherry doing a blazing version of Deep Purple’s “Highway Star.” --- To be honest, I’d never heard Buckcherry before catching them on NASCAR. I was intrigued.
So, I downloaded their latest album, Black Butterfly.
On TV at least, Buckcherry seem like badasses. You know, hide-your-daughter, drugs, sex & rock ‘n’ roll types. When I asked a music-savvy friend to "Name a real badass band who aren't rappers," the response was: Buckcherry.
But, listening to Black Butterfly, I wonder: Are these guys really badasses or heartachey pussies? Like the title of their album, they seem to be schizoid, one minute cock-strutting; the next, pussy-whipped. (For the record, I don’t usually talk like this. But hey, it’s rock and roll.)
Let's look at the hard evidence, by checking out some Black Butterfly lyrics:
R Rescue Me: Won’t you come and rescue me?/Save my life/ rescue me… = Pussies
T Tired of You: You’re all talk and your life is not together/I’m tired of you walking on me/so tired of you… (the singer is pissed because the subject is “addicted to medicine” – Hey, I thought you guys were into drugs?) Verdict: Pussies
T Too Drunk: I’m getting’ drunk all night/I’m getting’ drunk all day/I got so many women/I put some pussy on layaway… = OK, you’re badasses. Too drunk to fuck and you'll be in rehab by 30, but badasses.
< Dreams: I can’t stay with you now ‘cause I’m so ashamed/and tears run down my face … PUSSIES!
Talk to Me: Girl, you got a hold on me/talk to me/ talk to me now/kiss you right between your thighs… Pretty sensitive-sounding to me = Pussies
Child Called “It”: Mother, I really hate the way you treat me and I refuse to be your victim … WTF? Oh, I get it: Buckcherry is going the Metallica psychoanalysis route. Pussies.
Don’t Go Away: I am riddled with despair/your voice is all I hear/ don’t go away = Pussies
Fallout: OK, now here’s a rocker! Terrified of none/ I’m sleeping with hardware/can’t stop now/ wanna die in a car crash. Note: Cheap Trick and Aerosmith did this kind of guitar-driven rocker better 30 years ago. Still, it's a badass Guns N' Roses knockoff.
Rose: OMG, are you KIDDING ME? I can’t be here by myself/’cause to me there’s no one else/you’re as pretty as a rose/I can’t live without you = PUUUUUUUUUSSIES x 5
All of Me: The title says it all: Pussies
Imminent Bail Out: It’s a lie, or the truth/protect us from our youth. No idea. You be the judge.
< Cream: Buckcherry saved the very worst song for last: Cream on me/you will always be/my deepest love/yeah, yeah/my deepest love. Even the bodacious funky break mid-tune can't save this crapfest. Cream really seals it: PUSSIES.
To be honest, these guys sound awfully depressed. Too much drink and drugs, maybe? Or maybe their badass strutting is just marketing and phoney imagery. Like I said, Cheap Trick and Aerosmith (not to mention Deep Purple) already been there and done that, long ago.
Bon Jovi is more dangerous than this. Can I get a refund?