Please Don't Piss in the Elevator | Buzz Blog
Support the Free Press.
Facts matter. Truth matters. Journalism matters.
Salt Lake City Weekly has been Utah's source of independent news and in-depth journalism since 1984.
Donate today to ensure the legacy continues.

Please Don't Piss in the Elevator



City Weekly office manager Andrea Moore has ways of dealing with every vexing problem imaginable. This one takes the cake, though. ---

For those unfamiliar with the office setup here, three floors plus a creepy basement are serviced by an ancient Otis elevator. The elevator is so old and creaky, in fact, that it became downright unreliable a couple years ago, often sending its passengers to the creepy basement or other random floors at inopportune moments.

It finally had to lobotomized which, in elevators, means that its button panel was disabled; now it can only be controlled externally via a special call button installed in a secret location in the building.

This afternoon, an intoxicated fellow mistook the elevator for a restroom. Little did he know that his actions were clearly visible on security camera. Thus alerted, Andrea simply pressed the call button, trapping the hapless fellow and transporting him up to the second floor, where he met a furious Andrea with a look of wide-eyed innocence and puzzlement ("Peeing? Me?")

Unfortunately, he was too intoxicated to mop up after himself, so Andrea had to do it. But hats off to her for taking care of the problem; I'm pretty sure that guy won't be making that mistake again!