Main Street Plaza: Problem Solved! | Buzz Blog
DONATE
Support the Free Press.
Facts matter. Truth matters. Journalism matters.
Salt Lake City Weekly has been Utah's source of independent news and in-depth journalism since 1984.
Donate today to ensure the legacy continues.

Main Street Plaza: Problem Solved!

by

2 comments

Multiple Choice: What measure has the LDS Church finally taken to deal with its Main Street Plaza P.R. disaster? (Select one:) ---

A) Issuing an apology to Matt Aune, Derek Jones and the LGBT community

B) Sending church security personnel to anger-management classes and implementing a gender-blind hand-holding policy

C) Replacing the plaza's warning signs with new, slightly different warning signs

If you answered C, congratulations!

The church -- never missing an opportunity to miss the point -- decided the issue at hand has nothing to do with the hyper-vigilant jack-booted thugs it has posted on plaza, always on the ready to bring the smackdown on any private citizen passing through they happen to deem undesirable.

Instead, the church's solution is to remind everybody that technically, because of church lawyers' convoluted legal wrangling with the city, it can throw anybody it wants off its own property; so there.

So, remember: Every time you step foot on that Li'l Bit o' Paris, you're on notice. Just make sure you don't do anything the Men in Black might disapprove of.

Nice going, P.R. professionals! This is sure to improve the church's public image.

[Beautiful tilt-shift photo "Miniature Paris" courtesy of James Holden]%uFFFD