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Open Container: Obama Saves America!

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With the Constitution under attack, only one man is willing to step forward and save it.---

I'm not an art critic, just an average Josh with beer in my fridge and oatmeal on my chin. Sure, I've been to the Louvre and stared the Mona Lisa in the eye, but my strongest memory of that trip was the overwhelming stench of atrophied Americans who invaded France on tour buses, looking for Thomas Kinkade and McDonalds.

Today, however, I was pointed to a truly amazing and/or shocking painting, based on your political beliefs. It's a new print from Jon McNaughton, and if I'm interpreting it correctly -- and isn't art always in the eye in the beholder? -- it clearly shows Barack Obama, the svelte athlete and dedicated public servant he is, rushing to save the U.S. Constitution before it blows away.

Around Obama are a bunch of decrepit white guys who obviously need help saving their previous document. We've all been there before, right? I mean, aren't we all Boy Scouts? Wind kicks up and a little ol' lady (or man) loses a receipt and a few dollars, but have no fear! The always prepared Boy Scout leaps into action, stomps on the precious receipt (or in this case, precious founding document of our democracy), and pins it with his foot.

The painting captures the moment perfectly -- right after Obama has pinned the Constitution to save it, he takes the customary superhero pose. I do that every time I save a receipt, and good Lord, this is the Constitution! So of course he deserves to pose.

What happens next, I'm guessing, is that Obama picks up the Constitution, hands it to George Washington (who apparently lost it -- come on George, get a backpack) and then proceeds to kick the shit out of the weird old men wearing wigs and leering at the semi-drunk, somewhat depressed hipster on the park bench. Because, as a Boy Scout, you always are prepared.

Editors Note: Mr. McNaughton has produced a video in which he explains his interpretation. We're not saying he's right, only offering a different perspective. Hat tip to Holly on the Hill, BTW.

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