What’s new this weekend:
Supernatural (The CW, tonight) Season Premiere: Sam’s escaped Hell (apparently, it’s easier to cross that border than Mexico’s) and he wants to drag Dean out of domestic bliss and back into the demon-huntin’ game. Still the best series on The CW, despite the new Friday-night death sentence (thanks, Nikita).
Also new Friday:
Blue Bloods (CBS) Series Debut; Medium, CSI:NY (CBS) Season Premieres; The Good Guys (Fox) Season Premiere; Outlaw (NBC); Smallville (The CW) Season Premiere; Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network); Haven (SyFy); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup (E!)
Sharktopus (SyFy, Saturday) A hybrid shark/octopus developed as a weapon for the military? Like, 100 feet from a Mexico resort beach? Makes perfect sense—until the electronic remote control duct-taped to its back falls off; now, it’s a bikini-babe buffet! Angry Navy commander: “You just unleashed an eight-legged man-eating shark on the world!” Scientist (Eric Roberts): “A minor setback.” Sharktopus could be the most T&A-loaded SyFy Saturday movie yet, which mostly excuses the bad writing, bad CGI and bad music (courtesy of The Cheetah Whores—yes, really), if not Roberts’ squandering of all that Dark Knight cred.
Also new Saturday:
Saturday Night Live (NBC) Season Premiere: Host Amy Pohler; musical guest Katy Perry and her boobs.
Dexter (Showtime, Sunday) Season Premiere: This premiere is going to be huge, and the Season 5 debut episode doesn’t disappoint—read more about it in this week’s True TV, still Salt Lake City’s only television column. And yet …
Sister Wives (TLC, Sunday) Series Debut: … TLC still hasn’t sent anything on this, a reality series about a polygamous family set in Utah. So I’d like to take this opportunity to say fuck TLC and their entire sad lineup of clown-car vaginas, cartoon pastry chefs and leftover little people (excluding SLC’s wrongfully canceled Little Chocolatiers, of course).
Also new Sunday:
Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters (ABC) Season Premieres; The Amazing Race, Undercover Boss (CBS) Season Premieres; The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy (Fox) Season Premieres; Bored to Death, Eastbound & Down (HBO) Season Premieres; Rubicon, Mad Men (AMC); The Glades (A&E); Boardwalk Empire (HBO)
Behold Utah’s newest source of embarrassment (and that’s sayin’ something), TLC’s Sister Wives: