Week 2-ish of the new fall TV season, and what have we learned? Lone Star is as good as dead canceled, Two & a Half Men is killing in both first-run and syndication and therefore will never die, and Family Guy just doesn't care anymore.---

What's new tonight:
No Ordinary Family (ABC) Series Debut: It’s a live-action version of The Incredibles, which was just a CGI version of The Fantastic Four (the lousy movies, not the classic comic series), which featured ex-Shield star Michael Chiklis, who now stars in No Ordinary Family. Follow? Alongside him is Dexter’s Julie Benz and a pair of teens. The setup: The Powell family’s plane crashes in the Amazon; upon their return to civilization, they slowly begin to realize that they have superpowers—super-strength, speed, super-intelligence and telepathy, to be exact. Do they use their newfound powers for good, evil or a new A&E reality show? (The last one’s mine.) Looks promising, but so did last year’s V. And those Fantastic Four movies.

Glee (Fox) It's the Britney Spears Episode. Apparently, this is supposed to be a big deal, even though she hasn't had a hit in years, and her real "musical" heyday is now a decade past. Who gives a shit about Britney Spears anymore? The Gays, I'm told ... you mean, Glee's audience isn't 100-percent straight?

The Good Wife (CBS) Season Premiere: Will Alicia (Julianna Margulies) choose her philandering husband (Chris Noth) or cute lil' Will (Josh Charles)? Why not both? It's not like anyone would notice that they stole Lone Star's idea.

Stargate Universe (SyFy) Season Premiere: They're still lost in space, and they're still royally fucked. Strap in for another fun-filled season of dimly-lit desperation!

Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars, Detroit 187 (ABC); NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS); The Biggest Loser, Parenthood (NBC); Raising Hope, Running Wilde (Fox); One Tree Hill, Life Unexpected (The CW); The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen); Sons of Anarchy (FX)

First impression of the No Ordinary Family trailer: Lose the damn kids. Now.