Last Thursday, ‘Merica inadvertently made Shit My Dad Says TV’s No. 1 new comedy—entirely because of The Big Bang Theory’s lead-in. Please do not allow this cycle to continue. ---

What’s new tonight:
Nikita (The CW) Nikita (Maggie Q) flashes back to a previous Division mission, when Michael (Shane West) had slightly less murder-y feelings toward her. Meanwhile, back in the present, Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca) might flunk out of Assassin U if she can’t get over her claustrophobia—a problem when you live and train five miles underground. Oh, and Nikita wears skintight black leather and blows some shit up—should have led with that.

30 Rock (NBC) Nightly News anchor Brian Williams guest-stars, as does Paul Giamatti. One is Liz’s (Tina Fey) new potential ex-boyfriend, as Matt Damon is already outta there. How about a spin-off, Carol the Pilot? It would have to be better than Outsourced.

Jersey Shore (MTV) Is it still T-Shirt Time? That’s all I want to know.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX) After two iffy (but still funny) season lead-off episodes, the gang is back in fine Philly form tonight when Dennis and Mac buy a boat with the intention of turning it into a Party Cruiser. Watch for Sweet Dee’s sexy-ass dance moves to sweep the nation’s clubs this weekend … or not.

Also new tonight:
My Generation, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, CSI, The Mentalist (CBS); Community, The Office, Outsourced, The Apprentice (NBC); Bones, Fringe (Fox); The Vampire Diaries (The CW); Project Runway (Lifetime); Ace of Cakes (Food Network); The League (FX)

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia gets wet: