What else is new tonight:
South Park (Comedy Central) Return: Season 14 (!) continues as Cartman works his fat ass off to realize his dream of becoming a NASCAR driver. With Buttars as his pit crew, what could go wrong?
Hellcats (The CW) Read the complete thesis in today’s True TV: “Hellcats: Better Than Glee.” Believe it.
Harry Loves Lisa (TV Land) Reality Series Debut: Says here, “Harry Loves Lisa goes inside the marriage of Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin as they juggle Hollywood careers while being parents to two daughters.” Uh, since their “Hollywood careers” consist entirely of this reality show … never mind.
Steven Segal: Lawman (A&E) Season 2 Premiere: Yes, A&E is wringing a second season out of this—hey, they’ve gotten about 16 out of Criss Angel; don’t underestimate A&E. In tonight’s season premiere, Officer Segal deals with a shitload of car accidents. Please, please, please let him hang off the hood of a car, a la TJ Hooker.
Also new tonight:
The Middle, Better With You, Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Whole Truth (ABC); Survivor: Nicaragua, Criminal Minds, The Defenders (CBS); Undercovers, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC); Hell’s Kitchen (Fox); America’s Next Top Model (The CW); Ugly Americans (Comedy Central); Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo); Man vs. Food (Travel Channel)
Preview: Cartman and Buttars go NASCAR in the midseason premiere of South Park: