What’s new tonight:
Modern Family (ABC) It’s back—just in time for little Manny’s 12th birthday. Naturally, this throws him into an existential crisis at the party. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire play Grand Theft Auto on the drive to the restaurant, and Mitchell and Cam forgot to get a present. For some reason, ABC thinks it’s of note that Norman Lloyd of St. Elsewhere guest-stars. Quick, kids: What was St. Elsewhere? Exactly.
Human Target (Fox) Season Premiere: Remember this? The first season aired January-April of this year? Starring good-lookin’ Mark Valley as good-lookin’ Christopher Chance, an assassin-turned-bodyguard-for-hire, with sidekicks Chi McBride and Jackie Earl Haley, plus weekly Hot Actress guest stars? Who could forget Human Target? Fox, apparently: Despite the potential to become the net’s first real post-24 action contender, slotting Human Target at 7 p.m. Wednesdays (where NBC’s similarly spy-slick Undercovers just died) might be as detrimental as the previous plan of sticking it on Fridays with The Good Guys (sigh). Also, two women (Indira Varma and Janet Montgomery) join Team Chance in Season 2, making Human Target look suspiciously like … Leverage? If it ain’t broke, Fox it.
Top Chef: Just Desserts (Bravo) Season Finale: It’s down to Morgan, Yigit and Danielle! I’m predicting Danielle will win, if only based on the seemingly bottomless bag of bizarre facial expressions she has to pull from. She’s the Pee-Wee Herman of pastry chefs, and that’s good enough for me—come on, it’s Bravo, not a real food channel.
South Park (Comedy Central) Season Finale: Speaking of foodies, in the 14th (!) season finale of South Park, Randy becomes addicted to the Food Network. Here’s hoping Trey Parker and Matt Stone didn’t steal this idea from somewhere else, too.
Also new tonight:
The Middle, Better With You, Cougar Town (ABC); Survivor: Nicaragua, Criminal Minds, The Defenders (CBS); Undercovers, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC); America’s Next Top Model, Hellcats (The CW); Ugly Americans (Comedy Central); Psych (USA); Terriers (FX)
Preview: Alton Brown on South Park?