You may not have noticed Wednesday night, but NBC pulled freshman U.S. marshal drama Chase off its schedule, and it’s likely canceled. Theory: Couldn’t face the challenge of Eagleheart.---

What’s new this weekend:
Supernatural (The CW, tonight) Return: After being bumped last week for reasons unknown, Supernatural is finally back after way too many Fridays off (well, not if you ask Fringe). Did Sam survive having his soul, which has been barbecuing in hell’s pawn shop, restored? Also, how are Dean and Bobby going to stop evil dragons from defiling virgins? Educated guess: Violently, and set to a classic rock soundtrack.

The Onion News Network (IFC, tonight) Matching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report in faux-news presentation and pure funny—if not, say, actual facts—The Onion News Network is at least ripping/fabricating better headlines than its Comedy Central cousin, The Onion SportsDome. Tonight, ONN blows the lid off a congressman’s affair with a horse. A slippery slope from gay marriage, or a long-overdue step forward for bestiality rights? Will Chris Buttars and an unidentified pig weigh in next?

Also new tonight:
Supernanny (ABC); The Defenders, CSI:NY (CBS); Who Do You Think You Are? (NBC); Kitchen Nightmares, Fringe (Fox); Portlandia (IFC); Spartacus: Gods of the Arena (Starz); Real Time With Bill Maher, The Ricky Gervais Show, Funny or Die Presents (HBO); The Soup (E!)

Saturday Night Live (NBC/CW30, Saturday) Dana Carvey hosts; Linkin Park plays. No, this isn’t a VH1 listing for a ‘90s SNL rerun—it’s new. Seriously.

Super Bowl 45 (Fox, Sunday) The Pittsburgh Steelers face the Green Bay Packers in Dallas … and there will be no cheerleaders? Fuck that.

Glee (Fox, Sunday) Read all about it in True TV (Item 1).

Episodes (Showtime, Sunday) Only Showtime and HBO have the balls to put on new programming against Fox and the Super Bowl. Either that, or they just don’t care because you’ve already paid for it. Anyway, in tonight’s Episodes, Matt LeBlanc (Matt LeBlanc) cracks some very inappropriate jokes at a Rape Recovery fundraiser gala and tries to hook up his married writer. Good luck topping that with Mr. Sunshine, Matthew Perry.

Also new Sunday:
Californication, Shameless (Showtime); Big Love (HBO)

Preview: In Episodes, it’s not “cheating,” it’s just “a little thing.” Cheeky Brits …