This just in: David E. Kelley has found a Wonder Woman for his upcoming NBC remake: Adrianne Palicki, late of Friday Night Lights and something called Lone Star. This just in-er: Kelley still writes terrible female roles. Can’t wait! ---
What’s new tonight:
CSI (CBS) Justin Bieber alert! The Bieb returns as Jason McCann, a teen-gone-bad who might be cleaning up his act this time around—but probably not: Just look at him, Thug 4 Life, straight-up. TV rumor buzz goes that Jason gets killed in tonight’s episode, so hike up those pants to avoid the tears of millions of preteen girls around 9.
Perfect Couples (NBC) Dave (Kyle Bornheimer) and Julia (Christine Woods) go to a Mad Men party; no word if Annie (Allison Brie) from the preceding Community was also invited (see, it’s funny ‘cause Brie is also on Mad Men and … never mind). Meanwhile, Leigh (Olivia Munn) isn’t quite up to the challenge of being a wedding planner and, after the premiere of CBS’ Mad Love on Monday, I hereby declare that Perfect Couples is not the worst relationship comedy on TV. Yeah, really out on a limb here.
The Office (NBC) Threat Level: Midnight is finally here! Read all about it in True TV (Item 1).
Shit My Dad Says (CBS) Season/Maybe Series Finale: This shit is finally over! Read all about it in True TV (Item 2).
Archer (FX) Archer and Lana hit the Louisiana swamps to stop an eco-terrorist; excessive redneck jokes and bad-ass airboat montages ensue. Also, we get a glimpse into Lana’s early days with ISIS—she wasn’t always this cool, turns out. Funniest animated series on TV, so watch it harder already.
Also new tonight:
Wipeout, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice (ABC); The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist (CBS); Community, Parks & Recreation, 30 Rock, Outsourced (NBC); American Idol, Bones (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, Nikita (The CW); Royal Pains, Fairly Legal (USA); Jersey Shore (MTV); Eagleheart (Adult Swim); Conan (TBS)
Preview: Archer, airboats … awesome …