Warner Bros. has officially fired Charlie Sheen from Two & a Half Men, and now rumors are floating that John Stamos or Rob Lowe might replace him. C’mon, how about John Cusack? Or Larry King? ---

What’s new tonight:
Glee (Fox) Speaking of John Stamos, he’s back as the dreamy dentist tonight on Glee. Oh, and so is Gwyneth Paltrow, as the sexy(ish) teacher who’s going to tell the 26-year-old “kids” of McKinley High all about, well, sex. Naturally, this all leads to an impromptu rendition of Prince’s “Kiss,” but not as part of a Purple One medley including “Pussy Control” and “Sexy Motherfucker.” Lame.

Southland (TNT) Season Finale: Considering that NBC has canceled nearly all of its freshman 2010-11 dramas, they must be kicking themselves for dumping Southland now. Hell, they should be kicking themselves over The Cape, alone. On TNT, the gritty L.A. cop drama has done decent enough numbers to make a fourth season in 2012 a very real possibility. In tonight’s season finale, it’s Ben’s (Benjamin McKenzie) graduation-from-rookiedom—here’s guessing it doesn’t go smoothly, and betting on Season 4.

Only In America With Larry the Cable Guy (History) Why in the hell am I pimping Larry the Cable Guy’s redneck travelogue show? Because tonight he hits Las Vegas, straps on some skates and gets in the rink with the Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls roller-derby league, who will likely kick his ample ass. Now that’s History in the making!

Also new tonight:
V (ABC); The Biggest Loser (NBC); Raising Hope, Traffic Light (Fox); Tosh.0, The Onion SportsDome (Comedy Central); Melissa & Joan: Joan Knows Best (We); What Not to Wear (TLC); Lights Out (FX); The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo); Hardcore Pawn (TruTV); Conan (TBS) 

Preview: Gwyneth Paltrow de-sexys the Gary Glitter/Joan Jett classic “Do You Wanna Touch Me” tonight on Glee …