What’s new tonight:
Breakout Kings (A&E) Season Finale: So Breakout Kings’ regular night is Sunday, but the first-season finale is tonight—why? To make way for The Glades next weekend? Whatever. This cons n’ cops drama, which A&E grabbed after Fox rejected it, probably won’t return for a Season 2; it’s not as light/likeable as The Glades, and not dark enough for crime-drama junkies who live on A&E’s steady diet of Criminal Minds reruns. Still, cons Jimmi Simpson (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia) and Serinda Swain (uh, modeling?) have proven surprisingly good in serious roles—given a second season, the rest of the cast might catch up.
Platinum Hit (Bravo) Series Debut: Jewel and Kara DioGuardi host/judge American Idol for songwriters. Seriously. Sure, Jewel hasn’t written anything of note in years, and DioGuardi, besides washing out of Idol, penned the majority of Lindsay Lohan’s debut album … Where was I going with this? Oh yeah: Nowhere, just like whoever “wins” this thing.
Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC) Series Debut: A kinder, gentler Biggest Loser? With even more teary backstories? What the fuck is the point? To eventually get on The Bachelor/Bachelorette? Oh, then by all means, let’s do this!
Law & Order: L.A. (NBC) Series Finale: Barring a surprise return of Skeet Ulrich from the grave, there’s pretty much no reason to invest another second in the now-canceled Law & Order: L.A. So … no Skeet? Damn it …
Also new tonight:
The Bachelorette (ABC); Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family); The Hard Times of RJ Berger (MTV); Basketball Wives, Single Ladies (VH1); Cake Boss (TLC); WWE Tough Enough (USA); The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)
Preview: At least they’re raping new songs instead of classics on Platinum Hit: