What’s new this weekend:
The 2011 Guys Choice Awards (Spike, tonight) You know what guys choose? Hot girls (like Mila Kunis and, for at least another couple of years, Jennifer Aniston), Mark Wahlberg (as in, The Fighter) and Fast Times at Ridgemont High (a cast reunion—minus Phoebe Cates and her tits). You know what they shouldn’t choose? Axe Body Spray and P’Zones (as in, the sponsors).
Camelot (Starz, tonight) Season Finale: It’s over, but will probably return next year—Starz can’t coast entirely on Spartacus and Torchwood, right? I expect plenty of season-closing sex, violence and sex outta you to night, Camelot.
Also new tonight:
Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution (ABC); Flashpoint (CBS); The Whitest Kids U’Know (IFC); Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO); The Soup, Fashion Police (E!)
Ice Road Terror (Syfy, Saturday) Movie: It’s like Ice Road Truckers, but with a Terror—in this case, a hibernating monster awakened by … fuck, not again, Syfy … a greedy corporate mining operation.
Doctor Who (BBC America) Summer Finale: Going by overseas reports from Brits who’ve already seen this midpoint episode of the current Doctor Who season (because they didn’t take a beak for Memorial Day weekend, the bastards), it’s intense—and, Alex Kingston is back! Both good things.
Also new Saturday:
Chaos (CBS); Field of Vision (NBC); Cops (Fox); iCarly (Nickelodeon); Shark Men (NatGeo)
The Glee Project (Oxygen, Sunday) Series Debut: Hopeful actor-singers compete for a seven-episode guest role on Glee. If Gwyneth Paltrow will give her damned spot, that is.
The Protector (Lifetime, Sunday) Series Debut: Ally Walker (Sons of Anarchy, Profiler) is a single-mom LAPD cop who investigates brutal murders. You know, as opposed to those pleasant murders on the Hallmark Channel.
Also new Sunday:
Army Wives (Lifetime); Law & Order: Criminal Intent, In Plain Sight (USA); Ice Road Truckers (History); The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo); The Killing (AMC); The Glades (A&E); Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1, Superjail (Adult Swim); Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Ice Loves Coco (E!); The Real L Word (Showtime); Game of Thrones, Treme (HBO)
Preview: Looks like more violence than sex on Friday’s season finale of Camelot: