If you don’t listen to Sunday Nite Slow Jams on U92 FM, you are missing out. Not only can you send an “oral expression” (yes, really) to your cross-country lover, but you can also lay back on your leather couch in front of the fire and … do whatever it is people do during slow jams. ---

I admit I don’t catch much of SNSJ these days, but when I used to make the weekly 800-mile round trip journey from Salt Lake City to Durango, Colo., where my boyfriend (now husband) lived, I got to know my car radio really well. There’s a great oldies station you can catch between Monticello and Moab (it was guaranteed I’d hear “Brandi You’re a Fine Girl” and “The Pina Colada Song” at least once each every trip. Speaking of which, did you realize that “Pina Colada” is about adultery? Me neither). SNSJ was probably my favorite discovery, though, except for the crazy Christian station that broadcasts radio plays told from the perspective of the American flag.

My favorite SNSJ song I ever heard was “Anniversary,” a mostly forgotten classic by the early ’90s R&B group Tony! Toni! Tone! It’s such a bad song, but is incredibly earnest; it’s almost as though it were written by Andy Samberg as parody of earnest R&B songs. As the title suggests, it’s about a couple celebrating an anniversary. And, since this weekend was my first wedding anniversary, what better time than now to share this incredibly cheesy jam and its just-as-cheesy music video.

Items of note:

• If you watch this video without the sound, you’d think it was a song about a ghost or something—everything from the giant black chandelier to the moving pictures to the eye that turns into a blue vortex is really eerie.

• Is this the first incarnation of the puffy shirt?!

• “I’ve only made plans to hold your little hand”? What kind of lame-ass anniversary is that? I bet even the man and woman in “American Gothic” do something more than hold hands on their anniversary.

• These lyrics are just terrible. TERRIBLE. “A small cup of tea/ Then you can have me/ It's our anniversary.”

• Someone told the lead singer to never look at the camera, so even when it’s zoomed into his face he cranes his neck and stares straight up into the ceiling

• The creepy self-playing violin and house animation halfway through is like something straight out of a Mystery! presentation on PBS:

• Nothing makes a song or romantic occasion sexier than referencing your significant other’s boss!

• The stop-motion dying flowers are also kind of creepy. What kind of sentiment is that supposed to convey? “Every day we spend together is a day that brings me closer to death”?