What's new on the cranial suck tonight:

White Collar, Covert Affairs (USA) Season Premieres: Tuesdays on USA are once again really, really, really, really ridiculously good-looking; ---White Collar and Covert Affairs could probably just strip the storylines back to Matt Bomer and Piper Perabo making waffles for a couple of hours and they’d still kill the night in cable ratings. On White Collar, Neal (Bomer) and Mozzie (Willie Garson) are still in the wind after splitting the country to evade the FBI—can Peter (Tim DeKay) bring ’em back into the fold? I dunno, Neal & Mozzie Abroad sounds like an even better show. Then, on Covert Affairs, the smoldering sexual tension between Annie (Perabo) and Auggie (Christopher Gorham) gets smolder-er, and now there’s even more smolderness with a new spy target (Richard Coyle).

Trust Us With Your Life (ABC) Series Debut: Fred Willard hosts this new summer filler, wherein improv comics re-enact stories from celebs’ lives—like Serena Williams and the Osbournes. If it sounds terrible, you’re right.

Also new tonight:
Wipeout, NY Med (ABC); America’s Got (No) Talent, Love In the Wild (NBC); What Not to Wear (TLC); The Real Housewives of Orange County, Pregnant in Heels (Bravo); Dance Moms (Lifetime); Teen Mom (MTV); Storage Wars, Barter Kings (A&E); The Deadliest Catch (Discovery); Haunted Highway, Destination Truth (Syfy); Kendra on Top (We); Pretty Little Liars, Jane by Design (ABC Family); The Glee Project (Oxygen); Tosh.O, Workaholics (Comedy Central); Craft Wars (TLC); Retired at 35 (TV Land); Rizzoli & Isles, Franklin & Bash (TNT)