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Hello, I'm a Hoobastank Fan


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Back in the late 2000s, Hoobastank was on top of their game. You could almost say they were “bouncing around the Web like a beach ball at a Nickelback concert.”--- Since signing with Island Records in 2001, they've sold over 10 million records, were endorsed by Creed and even had a burrito at Denny’s named after them (The Hooburitto). If you're still scratching your head, I'm sure you've heard that song “The Reason,” while marinating in a Jiffy Lube waiting room. No? Now you have:

This song is about that burrito.

For many --  or maybe just me -- Hoobastank first appeared on the radar in the 2007 film Hot Rod. Remember the scene where Andy Samberg’s character Rod Kimble eats it after a massive motorcycle stunt? Well, the first word he uttered once he regained consciousness was, “Hoobastank.” We should watch that again:

For the longest time, I had no idea who or what the hell Rod was talking about. For a minute, I thought he said Hoboskank. Which would have been a way better name. But, I stand corrected. If you must know, the  shitty moniker “Hoobastank” isn't a nickname for slutty transients or even bong water,  it actually comes from a mispronunciation of a street near lead singer Doug Robb’s childhood home. So, there you have it.  

Now, despite the crappy name (and the crappy music), Hoobastank  has over a million fans on their Facebook page. And here I thought Ronnie Wood’s 26-year-old girlfriend was the only one. But besides her, who the hell are these people?  Since I had to find out, I headed over to In The Venue/Club Sound last Wednesday to meet some of the diehards who were waiting in line for the show. It was more than riveting: 


Katie and Megan, Provo

How long have you two been Hoobastank fans?

Megan: Since 2002, probably.

Katie: Yeah, at least five years.

How do you identify other Hoobastank fans?

Megan: I go,  “Hey, you a Hoobastank fan?! Wha Wha!”

Katie: If a song comes on the radio and you see their lips moving. Then you’ll be like, “Ahhh, you’re a fan!”

OK, so what is a Hoobastank?

Megan: We were just discussing that today.

Katie: I don’t know. What is it? Do you know?

Is it A: the name of a street? B: the name of a hotel room at a Best Western in Des Moines? Or C: something you say after a stunt?

Megan: I say B.

Katie: All the above. Just kidding I would say B, too; it sounds very specific.

The answer is all the above. I'm sure there's a hotel room in Des Moines called the Hoobastank room.

Katie: Hah, yes! I shouldn't have second-guessed myself.

Doesn't it blow your mind that Hoobastank's parents are the dudes from Goo Goo Dolls? Isn’t that crazy?!

Megan: It wouldn’t blow my mind at all because the Goo Goo Dolls have been around for a long time.

Katie: Are they really?

Uh, yes.

Katie: That is legit!

Megan: That is tight.

What if Hoobastank were a food? Would you eat it?

Megan: It would be my favorite food.

What if it were a Glade Plug-in?

Mega: Uhh, yeah. Yum.

Katie: Why would you eat a Glade Plug-in?

It’s an apple-cinnamon-flavored Glade Plug-in

Megan: Yeah, definitely!

Katie: Hmm, I don’t know.

It’s also non-toxic.

Katie: Oh, yeah, I’d eat it.


Kyler and Scott, Orem

What genre of music is Hoobastank?

Scott: Alternative metal or metal alternative.

Kyler: I’d say alternative rock.

Well, how metal is it that they won their recording contract by winning Legends of the Hidden Temple?

Kyler: I didn’t know that.

Scott: I didn’t know that, either.

Really?! How big of fans are you?

Scott: Pretty big, I think.

Kyler: Yeah, I'm a huge fan.

OK, then, so what’s the best Hoobastank song?

Skyler: I like "Running Away." It’s got a fast beat and I like it.

Scott: Hmm, this is a really good question. Uh, either "Running Away" or "From the Heart."

You don’t like "The Reason?"

Scott: It was overplayed.

Skyler: Yeah, and it’s the only song people know and they have so many other good songs.


Scott: Like the ones we just said.

Oh, OK. Who would you rather do, this guy right here or this dude? You've gotta pick one.

Kyler: Ehh, I don’t know.

Scott: Uh, that guy

Nice pick. Okay, Kyler, choose with your heart man.

Kyler: Fine. I guess this dude.

Ah, gross. That’s the lead singer of Crazy Town.

Kyler: Aaahhh.

OK, besides Crazy Town, what bands do Hoobastank fans not like?

Kyler: Oh, I hate Nickelback … a little bit.

Scott: I love Nickelback.

That was a dumb question. You're wearing a Canada T-shirt. Of course, you love Nickelback.

Scott: Yeah, they're awesome. 

Shay and Katie, Farmington

So, how big of Hoobastank fans are you guys, from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest?

Shay: I’m like a 7 or an 8.

Katie: I’d say like a 6 or a 7.

That means you’re huge fans. All right, what kind of people are Hoobastank fans?

Katie: I think they're people who are more alternative and not run-of-the-mill. [Hoobastank is] not for people that don’t know who they are.

Shay: Definitely. You can also identify them by the sideways 8 logo some have tattooed on ‘em.

You mean an infinity sign?

Shay: Yeah. Xfinity.

Isn't it nuts that Hoobastank’s drummer Chris Hesse was Garth’s stunt double in Wayne’s World?

Shay: Na uh? That does not surprise me.

Katie: We might be the only ones here who are Wayne’s World fans!

Here’s a serious question:If you’re stuck on a desert island, and you can have either a lifetime supply of hot dogs or a lifetime supply of Hoobastank guitarist Dan Estrin, which one do you choose?

Shay: Oooh, a lifetime supply of Dan.

Katie: Yup, I hate hot dogs. Is he a good conversationalist? 

I knew you’d say that, so tell me which one is Dan Estrin and which one is a hot dog?

Katie: Easy,  I know what a hot dog looks like.

Shay: Yeah, that’s a hot dog.

You wouldn't want a pile of hot dogs to talk to?

Shay: Hot dogs can't talk.

Oh, yeah, right. 

(Photos by Colin Wolf) 

Twitter: @WolfColin

Also check out Hello, I’m a Nickelback Fan and Hello, I’m a T-Pain Fan.