Hey, kids: There’s a new Netflix series debuting today—dry your undies, it’s not Arrested Development. It’s Hemlock Grove! ---

Says Netflix, original series House of Cards was a hit; says logic, the May 26 premiere of the new Arrested Development season will break the innerwebs. Streaming today between the two, there’s Hemlock Grove, an American Horror Story/Twin Peaks wannabe from slasher-flick auteur Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever) that makes about as much sense as, well, the loonier stretches of American Horror Story and Twin Peaks.

When a young girl is murdered in Pennsylvania steel town Hemlock Grove (sounds lovely), the two teen boys fingered for the crime—one of whom might be a werewolf, FYI—team up and go Supernatural Hardy Boys to find the real killer; much weirdness, terror and Famke Janssen (X-Men) ensue. Hemlock Grove is tough (OK, impossible) to follow, but it looks cool and the scares are legit—can’t ask more of a good American horror story.