What’s new on the box(es) tonight:

The Originals (The CW) Series Debut: Remember the bit in This Is Spinal Tap about the band being called The Originals until they found out there was another band across town also called The Originals, so they changed their name to The New Originals?--- Anyway: I’d rather watch Spinal Tap again than a Vampire Diaries spin-off. But that's just me.

The Millers (CBS) Series Debut: It’s not entirely terrible—True TV says so.

Welcome to the Family (NBC) Series Debut: Who cares? Not True TV.

Sean Saves the World (NBC) Series Debut: Have any rats handy to chew out your eyeballs? That would be a better-spent 30 minutes—True TV decrees it.

Also new tonight:

Parks & Recreation, Parenthood (NBC)

The Big Bang Theory, Two & a Half Men, The Crazy Ones, Elementary (CBS)

Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal (ABC)

The X Factor, Glee (Fox)

The Vampire Diaries (The CW)

Project Runway (Lifetime)

Anger Management (FX)

Impact Wrestling (Spike)

Childrens Hospital, NTSF:SD:SUV, The Eric Andre Show (Adult Swim)