What’s new on the tube tonight:

Teen Beach 2 (Disney) Movie: I know what you’re thinking: “Wait, I haven’t seen Teen Beach—how will I be able to follow Teen Beach 2?” Easy: In 2013’s Teen Beach, Brady (Ross Lynch) and Mack (Maia Mitchell) wiped out while surfing and were magically transported into the 1962 summer flick—wait for it—Wet Side Story; much singing and dancing ensued. Now, in Teen Beach 2, the gang from Wet Side Story have suddenly appeared in Brady and Mack’s modern real world (yes, they made it back at the end of Teen Beach—keep up) and your little sister is going to lose her damned mind. I know that you’re also thinking, “Hey, has there ever been an adult film called Wet Side Story?” and the answer is, surprisingly, no.

Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO) Summer Finale: A lousy week for rednecks and Jesus freaks means a fan-fucking-tastic night for Real Time With Bill Maher—and just in time for the summer finale!