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Pissed-Off Hawk at BYU Strikes Again

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The feathered demon known as the BYU hawk continues to wreak havoc on the college’s Provo grounds. The little fucker nested in a tree next to the Brimhall Building last month, and has been swooping in and showing students who’s boss ever since.


“I literally thought it was just, like, a bird that didn’t see where it was going or something and ran into me by accident,” a recovering Chisa Sawada told BYU’s ElevenNews.


Another student interviewed in the newsreel, Audrey Chugg, laughed when recalling how she first heard of the bird after her friend Maddy was victimized by the soulless harpy. Not cool, Audrey, not cool.


Ever-defiant, the winged beast even managed to nick intrepid reporter Madison Coburn right in the noggin. See the video:

HAWK PACKAGE from ElevenNews on Vimeo.

For the time being, campus authorities aren’t considering relocating the bird and its young unless the attacks “become more vicious.” 

“It is normal behavior; it’s likely a female protecting her nest and her baby,” Richard Nowak, executive director of Avian Sanctuary and Protection (ASAP), tells City Weekly, adding “federal laws protecting our wildlife take precedence over the people.”


HIs advice? Wait it out. “Once the chicks hatch and they fly off, the parents will take ’em and show them the rest of the world, as it were.”


Though, Nowak warns, the foul fowl could come back.  “Some of them do use the same nest year after year,” he says. 


Sounds like a case for Peter Griffin
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