Eight surprises in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, opening this weekend (spoiler alert!):

8. In addition to werewolves, the pretty new Manatee Boys will also play a larger role. Literally.

7. The estranged character of vampire Edward will appear primarily in Muppet form.

6. Coreys Haim and Feldman will have uncredited cameos as vamp-fightin’ townies.

5. Bella’s role will be expanded from passive doormat to semi-reactive doormat.

4. It will be revealed that the vampires’ “sparkle” is caused by overuse of Astroglide.

3. New Moon’s laugh track will be presented in high-def digital surround-sound in select theaters.

2. The Burger King product placement will be discreet; you won’t even notice the Broody Double Whopper.

1. The vampires and werewolves will set aside their differences to put on the best musical this high school has ever seen.