8. A room that contains only the voice of your grandmother yelling at you and that thing you have hidden behind your socks.
7. A "Second-Aid" booth, containing people to sympathize with all your whining, who will also ooh and ahh at your very brave Band-Aid.
6. A hyper-realistic virtual reality station where you can actually watch paint dry as if you're right there.
5. "Charcoal" pictures made from leaving canvas out during heavy inversion days in the city.
4. A fax machine that receives faxes sent by real people who know how to use them without Googling it.
3. Worry dolls fashioned from collected hairs left by Mayor Biskupski following public speaking events.
2. Stolen pieces of Salt Lake public art that have been melted down to create "participation stars" for anyone whose art doesn't win any prizes.
1. Portraits of Gov. Herbert and other conservative lawmakers done in menstrual blood.