Bar? Restaurant? Jesus? | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

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Bar? Restaurant? Jesus?

Eight ways to tell if you're in a Utah bar, not a restaurant.


8. Overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and making Jesus cry.
7. They won’t serve your baby a beer and a shot.
6. The waitress is totally interested in your rant about how California’s liquor laws are better.
5. They ask your baby for a second form of ID.
4. You don’t need to order a shitty basket of chips to justify your shitty beer.
3. They suggest leaving your baby in the car with a cracked window and Radio Disney.
2. The state-legislated sign just below the “Must Be 21+ to Enter” and “Drink GuzzleBird Whiskey®”signs.
1. They won’t let you in with a baby even though you’re just there for dinner and you don’t even drink and that rule is dumb and you drove all the way from Sandy and it’s little Brayyden’s birthday and they’re being so mean right now and gosh, already!


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