Eight favorable takeaways from the worst Utah Jazz season since the ’80s:
8. If you still haven’t learned the name of “that guy who replaced Jerry Sloan,” you’re in luck.
7. One more “rebuilding” season and the Jazz will be eligible for huge Home Depot discounts.
6. The local performance pressure is off the Salt Lake Bees, Real Salt Lake and the Utah Crimson Fliers Quidditch Team.
5. EnergySolutions Arena may be renamed Cymbalta SadBox Stadium.
4. Remember all those $1 Chicken McNuggets at McDonald’s on home-game days, ingrates?
3. The Jazz Bear died peacefully in bed, his last words being “Stockton to Mal … onnne.”
2. The odds that the Jazz will hire a new goofy-looking white coach more Utahns can relate to are pretty good.
1. You got two basketball-related Ochos this season. You’re welcome.