Yes, Ed’s offers sexually named coffee drinks; you’re on your own for the actual lovin’. The allure—beyond funky décor and quick-witted co-owner Linda Lin, better known as “Mom”—comes from provacatively named, two-ounce, pungent caffeine punches ordained by Mom’s college-age son. Mom has no clue what they mean. It’s straight-up, mild-tasting, pressed java that comes in one to 20 shots, piped from an automatic machine.
The Minute Man and Mother Mary seem moderate in name and dosage, one and two shots respectively, with the more tongue-in-cheek Hummer next at three shots. Down the line comes the Sex Panther with “six shots of pleasure.”
However, at this point, central nervous systems vibrate faster than freshmen sexcapades. The seven-shot mocha latte and eight-shot Andrea’s Desire both cost $7. Either way, you’ll be up until tomorrow with rave-crazy eyes. The Shocker—a kinky favorite—weighs in at 10 shots. With the Double Revolver Headshot’s 12 shots, all systems fail; at that point, you might as well have been doing lines between each shot. While there are warnings against ordering undercooked food on the menu, there are none for these uber-caffeinated drinks, despite an apparent need for a liability waiver.
The heavy-hitting, high doses are generally undertaken only by frat boys and masochists. “The kids, they’re crazy. They come in the night and drink and drink [beer], then they come back in the morning like this [imitates stumbling] and get the shots,” says Mom, who claims that only once has someone ordered and drunk the $20 Double Fist—a Shocker for each hand, 20 shots—which comes with a free meal of delicious diner food for wrecked stomachs.
210 University St.