Blockbusted | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
DONATE
We need your help.

Newspapers and media companies nationwide are closing or suffering mass layoffs since the coronavirus impacted all of us starting in March. City Weekly's entire existence is directly tied to people getting together in groups--in clubs, restaurants, and at concerts and events--which are the industries most affected by new coronavirus regulations.

Our industry is not healthy. Yet, City Weekly has continued publishing thanks to the generosity of readers like you. Utah needs independent journalism more than ever, and we're asking for your continued support of our editorial voice. We are fighting for you and all the people and businesses hardest hit by this pandemic.

You can help by making a one-time or recurring donation on PressBackers.com, which directs you to our Galena Fund 501(c)(3) non-profit, a resource dedicated to help fund local journalism. It is never too late. It is never too little. Thank you.

News » The Ocho

Blockbusted

Eight reasons the 2017 summer movie season tanked:

by

comment
news_ocho1-1.jpg
8. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword: Dungeons & Dragons nerds didn’t leave the house.
7. Transformers: The Last Knight: Mark Wahlberg wasn’t believable as a brainiac inventor who can’t get laid.
6. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Johnny Depp was too believable as a winesoaked fop who’s only in it for the money.
5. An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power: 80 percent of screens were blocked by Al Gore’s carbon footprint.
4. The Dark Tower: Was widely mistaken to be an extra-extra-long Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercial.
3. Valerian: America’s patience for nonsensically-scripted comicbook fare was depleted by Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
2. Baywatch: Graphic sex scenes between The Rock and Zac Efron didn’t play well in red states.
1. The Mummy: Graphic sex scenes between Tom Cruise and himself didn’t play well anywhere.

Tags