Fit for Duty

06/29/06, 01:00, DUI/Plan C, 400 S. 1000 East

“The officer conducted a traffic stop and when he told [the 23-year-old male suspect] that he was under arrest, the [suspect] ran. The officer chased the [suspect] on foot, but lost him. A plan C was established and assisting officers saw the [suspect] and chased him into the block. K-9 JJ and his handler started tracking the [suspect] and located him on a roof at about 330 S. 1000 East. The officer climbed onto the roof and chased the [suspect] across the roof. Both jumped off the roof and the officer was able to apprehend the [suspect]. The [suspect] was booked for Traffic and DUI as well as Escape. He also had felony warrants.nn

So much for notions of donut-eating, backup-calling, fat-sow excuses for cops. Though they may exist, this T.J. Hooker casting callback certainly isn’t among them.

Inanimate Object Rampage

06/28/06, 14:02, Suspicious Circumstances, near 600 N. Wall Street

The 38-year-old male suspect “was in the area on Girard St. and 74 West. He jumped in front of a vehicle and hit it with a metal club. He continued west on Girard and entered a home [near 600 N.] Wall Street. Inside that home he discarded the club and took two knives from the home and used them to attack the furniture in the living room. The homeowner and her dog fled the home and gave the responding Sergeant rough details on what was happening. The [suspect] exited the home with two knives in his hand and the Sergeant attempted to tase the [suspect], but failed. Just north of that location, another officer successfully tased the suspect. Attempts to get the [suspect] to release a knife he still had in his grasp dislodged one of the barbs and the [suspect] was able to get on his feet. A third officer arrived and applied the third and final tase to the [suspect], which enabled him to be taken into custody. The [suspect] was transported to the hospital for further evaluation.nn

On, and on, and on …

06/27/06, 23:00, Domestic Assault/Assault on Officers/CED deployment, near 500 E. 500 South

“Officers responded to a domestic assault [near 700 E.] 200 South. … Officers located the [25-year-old male suspect] passed out on the rear porch [near 500 E.] 500 South. The officers woke up the [suspect] who gave officers false information about his identity. The officers attempted to take [the suspect] into custody and the fight was on. During the fight, the [suspect] attempted to remove one of the Officer’s pistols from the holster. [The suspect’s brother and sister-in-law] forcefully interfered with the officers as well. One of the officers deployed the CED [conducted-energy device, i.e., Taser] on [the suspect, who] broke the wires away and continued fighting. The other officer then deployed the CED on [the suspect]; additional officers arrived and were able to take [him] into custody. [The suspect] received a cut to his eyebrow in the fight and was treated by medical. [The suspect] was booked for Domestic Assault, Assault on Police Officer, Resisting Arrest, and Attempting to Disarm a Peace Officer. [The suspect’s brother and sister-in-law] were cited for interfering.nn

“[T]he fight was on.” Such nonchalant exposition teaches us that a perp who tries to deceive police, makes overtures toward their weapons, takes two taser jolts to be cowed, and whose loved ones instinctively join the fray, is simply another day on the job. All due respect!