7. Skip-Ahead-to-2021 “Kittens & Komrades” desk/bunker calendar (Target, $13.99).
6. Pumpkin Spice ‘n’ St. John’s Wort Blend coffee K-Cup 24-pack (Starbucks, $18.99).
5. “Paul Krugman Comfort Beard” tear-absorbent fuzzy yoga mat (Lululemon, $59.99).
4. Revolting: A Compendium of Katy Perry’s Election Night Tweets coffee-table book (Barnes & Noble, $79.99).
3. Guest certificate for Canadian timeshare with Lena Dunham, Raven Symone and Ne-Yo
(TripAdvisor.com, $9,999.99).
2. Autographed photo from the President-elect of Utah, Evan McMullin (EvanMcMullin.com, $9.99).
1. Bernie Sanders-shaped Gummy Xanax 400-count pill bottle (Whole Foods, $49.99).