Dear Gabacho: Actually, the only punishment that would make Mexicans stop coming over no nos affect us—gabachos would bear the brunt of socialism. For the pinche umpteenth time, Mexicans migrate to the United States to better their life, and because gabachos won’t do the jobs chinks, micks, slopeheads, wabs and wops do at the rates for which they’re willing to work. Stop getting your “original immigration requirements” from Wikipedia, and then wonder how ethnic enclaves have been part of this country since the Cajuns. We still respect los Estados Unidos—how can you not give props to a failing empire? And one final debunking of your delusions—Mexico has been fighting the United States since the Spanish Armada set sail for England—except now, the only Black Legend in our camp pertains to Guatemala.
Dear Mexican: Zack de la Rocha, a person who I admire as an activist and musician, has described his hometown of Irvine, Calif., as one of the most racist cities imaginable. He once stated, “If you were a Mexican in Irvine, you were there because you had a broom or a hammer in your hand.” Being a Mexican who lives in Irvine and who looks like a Mexican (chaparro y prieto), I’ve never felt discriminated in any way—in fact, I think of Irvine as a city that embraces diversity. I’ve only lived here for the past five years or so; has it not always been the case, or could it be that I’m looked down upon and I’m too much of a pendejo to realize it? Does Irvine have a racist past that I’m unaware of? —Barranca Babobos
Dear Readers: Forgive this too-provincial pregunta, but it allows me to publicly call out de la Rocha, one of the great musicians of this generation who unfortunately is acting like Dylan after his motorcycle accident. Hey, Zack: where’s your solo album? Why the Rage Against the Machine mini-reunion instead of you pushing that amazing rap-rock-son jarocho fusion you were toying with a couple of years back? Why stick around in the progressive paradise called Los Angeles instead of fully committing yourself to the fight against your demented homeland of Orange County? Eres chingón, pero ya no mames, guey: marching and organizing against Arpayaso is vital, but we need you to remain relevant to the rest of America by putting out new music. As for why you haven’t experienced racism, Barranca Baboso: Irvinites probably think you’re Persian. And don’t use Wikipedia for pulling quotes.
Ask the Mexican at firstname.lastname@example.org, MySpace.com/OCWab, Facebook.com/Garellano, YouTube.com/AskeAMexicano, find him on Twitter, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433!