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Caffeine Quake

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Progress seems to be running rampant at LDS Church headquarters. To gain statehood, the LDS Church abandoned polygamy. Then, racing ahead to 1978, African-American men were allowed into the priesthood. Now, only 34 years later, caffeine is OK’ed.

Will this never stop! What’s next? Girls allowed into the priesthood? Women treated as equals to the testicle-bearing members? Women even serving in the Quorum of the Seventy? When is this rapid leap in the 21st century going to stop! I look any day to see gays accepted and even allowed to marry their mates. What about missionaries wearing (God forbid) pastel-colored dress shirts?

That shaking of the Earth all the way from Nauvoo to Salt Lake City is Joseph Smith and Brigham Young turning over in their graves.

Is LDS Church leadership actually becoming more tolerant? Or did someone in accounting realize that membership numbers are on the decline and, more importantly, tithing is also taking a hit?

TED OTTINGER
Taylorsville

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