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Cat Menaces

Possible laws to curb cat crimes



What laws should the Legislature pass to curb cat crimes?

Pete Saltas: City Weekly Bill 101: All stray cats should be relocated to Steven Wells’ abode.

Colin Wolf: A few years ago, my dad set up a bunch of bluebird boxes on his property, and the neighbor’s cats would climb up, dip their murder paws in and slaughter everything inside. Eventually, he took matters into his own hands and set up a live trap in his yard, catching the cats and releasing them with an attached note that said, “Next time I catch your cat, it’s going to the pound.” The neighbors stopped letting their cats out.

Eric S. Peterson: Woah, woah, I think this talk of cat-crime legislation is too reactionary for such a volatile and sensitive subject. I would recommend that a bipartisan commission be formed, staffed with representatives of both parties and members of cat communities—both domestic and feral—to study this issue during the interim and recommend legislation for the 2014 session if necessary.

Scott Renshaw: All I care about is my God-given right to carry a concealed cat.

Rachel Piper: I don’t think domestic cats should go outdoors, not because they’re adorable little serial killers but because of the risks posed to our furry friends themselves—diseases, evil cat-hating neighbors and busy roads. I would also like to see Utah Gov. Gary Herbert decree an official Take Your Cat to Work Day. State morale would skyrocket.

Jerre Wroble: Jaywalking cats must be stopped. For the record, they don’t really walk. They skirt from under a parked car into the middle of a roadway, often to their tragic end. There ought to be a law.