Eight worse classic-rock songs than Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven,” released 40 years ago this week:
8. Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.” Crime: Without it, karaoke/piano bars wouldn’t exist. Nor would Billy Joel.
7. The Eagles’ “Hotel California.” Crime: Perpetuated the dual myths that California is interesting and Don Henley is “deep.”
6. Anything by the Beatles. Crime: The Fab Four epitomize overplayed corporate radio—and KRCL, who’ve spun them six times since you began reading this.
5. The Rolling Stones’ “Ruby Tuesday.” Crime: Ever eaten at a Ruby Tuesday? Enough said.
4. Anything by Van Halen with Sammy Hagar. Crime: Van Hagar is only one step above Van Hitler.
3. Pink Floyd’s “Money.” Crime: Provides a hack soundtrack to every financial-advice show and payday-loan ad in existence.
2. Anything by Bruce Springsteen. Crime: He’s responsible for every atrocity from, and related to, New Jersey.
1. Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” Crime: It’s empowered strippers since 1988. Unfortunately, some of them are currently the same strippers.
