Clear & Presents Danger | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
DONATE
Support the Free Press.
Facts matter. Truth matters. Journalism matters.
Salt Lake City Weekly has been Utah's source of independent news and in-depth journalism since 1984.
Donate today to ensure the legacy continues.

News » The Ocho

Clear & Presents Danger

8 Valentine's Day gifts and what they really mean

by

comment
news_the_ocho1-1.jpg

8. Chocolates: "Maybe these will shut you up so I can get 30 seconds of peace."

7. Jewelry: "If you hear the occasional 'beep,' it's not a tracking device. Nope ..."

6. A personalized love song: "So, my band is going to be crashing at your place for at least another week."

5. Dinner: "Our love will last longer than this Groupon, which expires Monday."

4. Lingerie: "It looked just OK on my last Tinder hookup, but it'll look fantastic on you."

3. A spa day: "A treament to remove tension, toxins and that giant stick up your ass."

2. A dozen roses: "So sorry about sleeping with your sister."

1. A single rose: "Your sister wasn't that great."

Tags